Are you struggling to keep hope alive?
Would some inspiration be helpful?
You can keep hope alive when it comes to your child’s substance use.
When you have hope and gratitude, anything is possible.
You can find a way to make positive changes, find hope, and move forward to a better place.
I’ve realized that while every situation is different, family substance use often has a common thread. The important thing is first to know that you are not alone in your pain. Many others are traveling this road with you.
As Johann Hari says, “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.”
I hope that research-based solutions will become more available and commonplace. So much work remains, but progress is being made.
My wish for you is that you will move forward positively. You will have answers to your questions. New ideas will make sense. You will see progress in yourself and your child. The many paths to wholeness will become clear.
There are about 45 million people affected by addiction to alcohol and other drugs. Many are now in recovery. Know that your child can change their life, too. They can join the millions who have turned their life into ones with meaning and purpose.
To make changes, acknowledge where you are. Once that is clear, you will better understand where you want to go.
Hope is one of the most powerful driving forces in our lives, and without it, we cease to effectively function. A lack of hope is the precursor to severe depression. ~ Tim Brownson
Here are some tips to help you keep hope alive.
Accept what is.
Consider where you are with your anxiety, with your fear, with your anger, with your feelings of helplessness. Face how you are feeling. Denial keeps us stuck, so be clear with yourself about the problem. Understand where you are at this point in your child’s substance use.
Have a clear understanding of what is and is not in your ability to change. Acknowledge your reality. When you know where you are, you can move forward to a better tomorrow.
Keep hope alive by thinking about what you want.
Pretend for a moment that you do have the ability to create your ideal world. That would be so nice, wouldn’t it? Wave your magic wand and decide what you want your life to look like. Tg would you be feeling and behaving? How would your child be feeling and behaving? How is the rest of the family doing?
Take time to clarify what you want. You might obviously want your child to stop their substance use. Now, go deeper. What else? How can you get to the root of the problem?
Consider what has helped in the past.
Consider how best to help your child and what has worked. Was it the words you used that your child responded to? What behavior on your part seemed to make a difference?
Is there anyone outside of the family who has been helpful? Keep a log when it comes to supporting your child. You can look back, repeat what works, and discard what doesn’t.
Lay the foundation of self-care.
Hit the pause button from time to time and check in with yourself. If you’re feeling drained, take some deep breaths to clear your head and recharge. If your life is unbalanced, you cannot help your child.
You cannot solve your child’s problem of loneliness if you are lonely yourself. You can’t expect your child to be physically fit if you are neglecting your own body.
Think about what you need to fix within yourself to support your child best—work to get your life as balanced and focused as possible. Your child’s use is harmful, but things can begin to change when you are a positive force.
Educate yourself on the latest research-based strategies.
There are many ways to help your child. Some are more traditional, and some are research-based. Include all options so that you have the resources that make sense.
Approaching your child’s substance use with positivity, optimism, and hope. They are using substances because of some trauma or pain that they are feeling. Talk to your child in a positive, respectful way. Acknowledge what your child is doing well. Allow your child to take responsibility for their mistakes.
He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything. ~ Proverb
The key is to keep hope alive.
Hope is one of the most important concepts you can use to help your family move forward. The pain of your child’s use is raw. While you know that good may come from their recovery, you feel it when the hurt is there.
Don’t let your feelings of despair push you to depression and helplessness. During this challenging time, you need hope more than ever. Studies have shown that it will help you get from where you are to where you want to be. It is the vehicle that will make a difference.
According to Scott Barry Kaufman, Ph.D., “The person who has hope has the will and determination (to make sure) that goals will be achieved, and a set of different strategies at their disposal to reach their goals. Put simply: hope involves the will to get there and different ways to get there.”
Maintaining hope is one of the most important things you can do. It will help move your child from addiction to recovery, from dependence to positive change, and from broken to whole.
Give yourself the time to think through how you can best help yourself and your child. Consider how you can respond more peacefully in the year ahead. You will feel more hopeful, and so will your child.
H.O.P.E. Hold on, pain ends. ~ Unknown
Let’s all keep hope alive!
Now it’s your turn: How have you been able to keep hope alive? What has helped you in the past?
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