And now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke
We’re starting a new year!
For many, this may be a new chance for change to happen.
I want to take a moment to pause and reflect on what worked this past year.
The new Invitation to Change approach has given parents information to help them change their approach to substance use. Positive communication can help everyone feel better in a difficult situation.
It is essential to celebrate the milestones, no matter how small. At the same time, it is also helpful to consider what changes need to be made going forward.
Also, as a parent, considering what was helpful for your child and what you hope to change can give you insights for next year.
- Maybe you are feeling more confident about your circumstances.
- Your child may now be in recovery and living a healthier life.
- You have realized that there are many roads to change.
- Maybe you worked on yourself this past year so that you can offer the best possible support to help your struggling child.
- You adjusted to what didn’t serve you or other family members well.
Every day is a chance to begin again. Don’t focus on the failures of yesterday. Start today with positive thoughts and expectations. ~Catherine Pulsifer
Reflections
In my process of reflection, here are six questions I’m going to ask myself:
- What went well this past year?
- What am I grateful for?
- How did I learn and improve this year?
- What am I proud of?
- In what area of my life do I still want to improve?
- What have been my strengths this past year, and what has served me well?
The end of the year is a perfect time to write about your feelings. Do take time to write or reflect in some way that works for you to know where you want to be this year.
Gratitude for a job well done and for the accomplishments that you have made this past year can be helpful. It’s healthy to see yourself in a positive light. This can be a new year focused on gratitude and making family wellness a reality.
Considering what you would like to change in the coming year is also helpful.
Intentions for the new year
Many people set a resolution for the new year. Too often, those resolutions have been forgotten by the end of January.
Also, while resolutions can work for some, they can be motivated by not feeling good about an aspect of yourself.
Setting intentions rather than resolutions can come from a more positive place.
Here are six more questions to consider as you move forward and think about how you want the new year to unfold:
- What can I do to set myself up for success in the coming year?
- What new behaviors will I implement that I would like to carry over into the new year?
- How can I be more in charge of my reactions?
- Are there areas where I need to focus more of my attention?
- Are there any areas where I need to direct my strength?
- What else can I carry over into the new year to grow and make my life better?
What can you do in the new year to focus more on what is working in your life? How can you change habits so that you are moving forward more productively?
Seek answers from the inside out.
“If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control – myself.” ~ Stephen R. Covey
One of the things that I want to work harder on is owning problems that come my way. I want to find answers that feel right and come from the inside.
Regarding your child’s substance use problem, rather than focusing on your concern about your son or daughter, pause and broaden your approach to better influencing your child to live a healthier life.
Instead of fixating on what our child is doing wrong, a better approach is to focus on ourselves first.
Here is the third set of six questions to consider how to help solve the problem from the inside out:
- What work have I done to help myself first to stay resilient?
- What is going well, and what must I change before I can help my child?
- Are there family dynamics that I need to address?
- How are my intellectual well-being and physical and emotional health impacting the situation?
- What am I grateful for that my child is doing well?
- How can I listen in a better way to gain more understanding?
Starting a new year gives us a clean slate. We have a chance to begin again. By reflecting, you will have a better chance of moving forward with thoughtfulness and insight.
Be proactive
Being proactive is a more helpful approach to helping your child than reacting to what happens.
Rather than being overwhelmed by circumstances, allow yourself to remain calm.
You will feel stronger and more in control of what is happening around you.
Finally, as we move into the new year, we have experienced progress, but the work is far from done when it comes to helping those with substance use disorder.
Prevention, being proactive, and spreading awareness will best help families with teenagers, the most vulnerable to substance use. We need to give our kids the best possible chance to succeed so they are not distracted by the quick fix that drugs or alcohol offers.
Letting go of judgment and denial can also be the foundation for a better tomorrow.
Let’s give all our kids the support and encouragement they need to live the life they deserve.
A new year is a new beginning. It’s an excellent opportunity for a fresh start.
Thank you for reading. If you are concerned about your son or daughter’s substance use, learn research-based tools that can help you motivate your child to change. Access research-based resources to help you support your child in a kind, compassionate way, which can lead to change.
Consider checking out my book, The Compassion Antidote: A Path to Change for You and Your Child Struggling with Addiction.
And consider getting access to my online course, Regain Your Hope, which gives you an action plan to help your child. Know that your child can change.
